Chapter 8 : Living together in the Netherlands
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living together

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Many people live alone

Many people live alone

A significant number of Dutch people choose to live alone for various reasons. Here are some common explanations:

Partner passed away: In the case of older individuals, living alone often occurs because their partner has passed away, and they find themselves without a companion.

Divorce: Divorce is another prevalent reason for living alone. In fact, approximately one in three marriages in the Netherlands ends in divorce, leading to many individuals establishing their own households.

Young people: Young people often opt to live alone as they embark on their journey towards independence. Usually couples start living together while not being married. 

Living apart together: Interestingly, some people are in relationships but still choose to live alone. This decision may arise due to personal preferences, the desire for personal space, or other factors specific to their circumstances.

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Family

Family

Family is an integral part of Dutch society, with more than half of the population being part of a family unit. However, there are several important facts that have to be taken into account:

Family size: On average, a Dutch family consists of 1 - 2 children, indicating that families tend to have fewer than two children. 

Divorce and remarriage: Divorce is a common occurrence in the Netherlands, and it is not uncommon for individuals to divorce and subsequently marry someone else. T

Single-parent families: The country also has a significant number of single-parent families, primarily due to divorce. These families consist of one parent (father or mother) raising the children.

Partner selection: Dutch individuals have the freedom to choose their own partners. In contemporary society, many people rely on the internet and dating sites to meet potential partners, broadening the range of possibilities in finding romantic relationships.

Sexual experiences: On average, Dutch young people have their first sexual experience around the age of 16-17. This indicates a relatively early onset of sexual activity compared to some other countries. It is worth noting that the age at which individuals engage in sexual activities can vary widely among different individuals. Sex before marriage is widely accepted.

Sex education: In the Netherlands, many parents engage in open conversations about sex with their children when they reach puberty, typically between the ages of 12-18. Additionally, comprehensive sex education is provided in schools, covering topics such as physical changes in boys and girls and information about sex. 
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1. Marital Status
2 Name: Karel Appel
3 Gender: male
4 Born on: February 12, 1988
5 Birthplace: Amsterdam
6 Married/Unmarried/Partnership/Single: married
7 Place of residence: Eindhoven
8 Address: Heuvelplein 8
99 Zip Code: 5643 JG

Are you married or are you not married?

"Burgerlijke staat" is a term in the Netherlands that refers to a person's marital status or civil status. It indicates whether a person is single, married, in a registered partnership, divorced, widowed, or have another legally accepted status. The term is used official documents  to gather information about a person's relationship status.

Examples

Ongehuwd/Alleenstaand: Unmarried/Single - This refers to individuals who have never been married or are not currently in a legally recognized partnership.

Gehuwd/Getrouwd: Married - This indicates that a person is legally married to their spouse.

Geregistreerd partnerschap: Registered Partnership - This category applies to couples who have chosen to enter into a legally recognized partnership similar to marriage, but without a formal wedding ceremony.

Gescheiden: Divorced - This refers to individuals who have legally ended their marriage through divorce.

Weduwe/Weduwnaar: Widow/Widower - This category applies to individuals whose spouse has passed away.

These categories are used in official documents such as identification cards, passports, and legal forms to provide information about a person's current "burgerlijke staat" or marital status.

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1. I am married
2. I am divorced
3. I am a widow
4. I am a widower
5. I live alone
6. I have a relationship with Karel
7. but we don't live together

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1. are you married?
2. yes, I am married
3. do you live alone?
5. I am a widow
6. I live with Anna

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For many persons from other countries it seems difficult to accept this freedom of clothing

Clothing

In the summer, many people in the Netherlands wear clothes that show their arms and legs. They wear short clothes, and this well accepted.  Sometimes it might be surprising or uncomfortable if you're not used to it, but it doesn't mean that women are trying to get attention from men.

When two people are in love, they may hold hands or kiss in public. This happens with both same-sex couples and heterosexual couples.
Homosexuality occurs in 5 to 10% of the population.  A man is called gay, a woman is called a lesbian. It is accepted in the Netherlands, but not by everyone agrees for example based on religious beliefs. But remember there is freedom of religion.

Forbidden
So people basically have the freedom to dress however they want. You should never walk naked. It is also forbidden to cover your face in such a way that the desired recognition is not possible.



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we are all equal

People: men and woman have same rights

In the Netherlands, men and women are considered equal with regard to the law and work. This means that the same wages must be paid for the same work. Many women work just like the men. This is usually also necessary to be able to pay the mortgage for a house. That also means that not only the mother cooks, the men also cook.

Discrimination
Discrimination is strictly prohibited, but unfortunately still often occurs. If you see it, report it to the police. 

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Familiar or polite form

Within a family the familiar form of you is used ("jij") :

With a formal meeting the polite form of you is used ("U")

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1. we are going on vacation
2. we are going to Spain
3. where are you going?
4 I am going to France
5. by car?
6. yes, by car

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You must respect everyone regardless of their beliefs or customs. In the Netherlands, the elderly do not deserve more respect than the young, even children use "you" against their parents or boss. During puberty, children often quarrel with their parents or teachers.


What is prohibited in the Netherlands?
• Sex between an adult and someone under the age of 16 (can lead to imprisonment)!
• Rape: forcing someone to have sex (can lead to jail time)!
• Incest: sex between relatives (cousins may marry, but this rarely happens).
• Honor killings: girls are sometimes killed abroad if they have sex without being married. In the Netherlands this can lead to a long prison sentence!
• Female Genital Mutilation: cutting at the vagina.
• Violence: hurting someone (hitting, using a knife, using a weapon without a permit). The police CAN carry a weapon.
• Assault: hurting someone a lot (hitting, not hitting men/women/children).


Need help?

Talk to your GP (doctor), go to www.amk-nederland.nl , or file a report with the police.
What is allowed in the Netherlands?
Abortion: Pregnant women can choose to have a child removed (if the unborn child is not healthy or if they really do not want to have the child). Abortion is allowed UP TO 24 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY.


Euthanasia: dying with help. Sometimes people are in a lot of pain and are seriously ill. A doctor can help to die earlier, but only if someone wants to!


Different views
The people in the Netherlands have different opinions and different beliefs are accepted. Freedom of religion is  determined by law. In the Netherlands, it's okay for a woman to work all week. A marriage between two persons of the same sex is alowed and accepted. Such a couple may even have a chilld for instance by adoption. 

Here are some things about the Netherlands:

People in the Netherlands understand and accept it if you are divorced and have a child.
If you see two men holding hands in the Netherlands, you can just say "hello" because most Dutch people are okay with this.
In the summer, people in the Netherlands often wear clothes that show their arms and legs.
If you don't get a job because they don't want foreigners, you can look on the internet to find out what you can do to complain about it.
After having a child, most Dutch women continue to work.
It's not okay for parents to hit their children.
Cutting girls' genitals is not allowed in the Netherlands, but cutting boys' genitals is allowed.
If a child is not healthy or very sick, the parents can decide to end the pregnancy before 24 weeks.ls.


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